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10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale 10. Beg him not to eat you. 9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. 8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry. 7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain. 6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away. 5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. 4. Send out waves of lust and see how he r

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black 10. Never use English around him – instead, bark. 9. Call him a space heater. 8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners. 7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet. 6. Inform him that real men sparkle. 5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage. 4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot. 3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella. 2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style. And the Number One way to annoy Jacob

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen 10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. 9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc. 8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel? 7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy” 6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile. 5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blend

10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen 10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. 9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. 8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. 7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. 6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in. 5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male. 4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed. 3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep. 2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.. And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen? 1. When he denies the above two c

10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan 10. Tell him Bella’s pregnant – but you’re having trouble figuring out who the father is… Bella’s unsure whether it’s Edward, Carlisle, Jacob or Mike. 9. Ask him what Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo means in the phonetic alphabet.   8. Decorate his handcuffs with pink lace and flowers the call the station requesting to speak with Chief Swan Princess. 7. Whenever he is around, narrate all that is happening into the invisible walkie-talkie that’s strapped to your shoulder, speaking only in cop talk. 6. Take his gun and use it in a bank holdup – it will have his fi

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen 10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near. 9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride. 8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it. 7. Ask how Tanya is. 6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.” 5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face. 4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?” 3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a rang

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen 10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent. 9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent. 8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun. 7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER. 6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France. 5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”. 4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he d

10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan 10. Ask about Mike. 9. Ask about Eric. 8. Ask about Jacob. 7. Ask about Edward. 6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys. 5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. 4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy. 3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes. 2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she mar

10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen 10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”. 9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget. 8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. 7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. 6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.” 5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic. 4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling. 3. Trip her up and a